Luke's Personal Background and Career Path

yeah i mean like for me i was just to tell you kind of my story um the why the trauma counseling and things is that when i i went to college to be a computer programmer. I started putting computers when I was a little kid. It's not what I wanted to go to college for. My mom wanted me to go to college to be a computer programmer. And I got through my freshman year and I went, I don't want to do this. I wanted to go into physical therapy and I wanted to be a strength coach. But back then, it wasn't cool to be a personal trainer back then. Only losers did that. It wasn't like it is now. And so I dropped out of college and I asked my parents to loan me $600 so I could get my first training certification and my mom basically laughed at me and she said I'm going to give you the money you got to pay it back in a certain amount of time and I want you to understand that this is only a hobby while you figure your shit while you get your shit straight this you'll never make a career out of this and so that one thing has kept me from maximizing my potential over the years and I had to go I had to get unfucked by going to New Zealand and having my friend go through that and to figure out what actually it was that was causing me to self-sabotage. And my self-sabotage throughout my 20s was, God, sex. Man, I was a sex maniac, right? And it was drugs and it was booze and it was all this stuff. And then it became, I said, okay, I'm going to channel that addiction into working a lot. And then I would work until I got sick or had panic attacks. And so I'm still working through that stuff. But I didn't realize it was that one thing she said that caused all this stuff to happen. And then it was a chain of other unfortunate events. It's like, I remember having to get really back from my breakup and we had a house together and I had to get my dogs off. And that little, that my mom's voice from the back of my head basically was confirming like, you're a loser. You can't even take care of these dogs. What are you doing? You're not worth it, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I've had to work through that over a long time. So anytime I've ever seen, you know, a few weeks of success, I have a meltdown on a panic attack. So, and I found myself at a point where I was like, look, this is not going to go away until I actually go get help. And I went and got help. And now it's not a problem anymore. But I stuck in the prefrontal cortex and get that process back into long storage Yeah