The Fear of Stepping In

well it's an interesting one like so firstly I want to add to the point where you said like if we're yes we maybe have like bigger statues compared to other people but even if I'm by myself and I walk and I run I see a bunch of guys I am still a bit afraid. I'm hesitant because again, going back to this perception of what men should be, this automatic assumption is that we're the protectors as we are. We're not all warriors. No, we're not, but you look around at all the dudes that are standing there, there's some warriors there. Now we have to have this theological discussion of are you afraid to step in or are you afraid you're going to get in trouble for stepping in? Because that's the reality nowadays. We're supposed to let the police handle it. And like you said, the police don't do anything. Because when you talk about being afraid to step in, I was in that exact situation four weeks ago. I was on the train coming back from work. So I'm on the carriage. There's probably four girls sitting to my left and then another four to the right, me and then another guy on. And this individual comes on the train, deftly drunk, carrying a bottle of wine with him. And he's just kind of going up to everyone's face, trying to intimidate them. I'm not giving him attention. I'm just keeping my head down. then he goes up to the girls and starts to intimidate them and then me i'm like i need to step in there but what stops me is the fear of if i was to do something to him will i get in trouble yeah and i left that night and luckily he came off the train it was fine but i left that night thinking shit i failed as a man yeah no no no because we've all been in that like the reality is he was just blowing noise like there's nothing now the only what could you do the only thing you could do is try to de-escalate it and then if he escalated then you were going to do something but you weren't in a position where you actually had to do anything because he was just he was just trying to get in their face and talk he was just being a twat but even that you got that decision to make like okay let's run some scenarios I go up to him and I say hey why don't we all calm down or why don't we do whatever and then he goes aggro and you end up having to get in a fight anyway so sometimes it's good to be an observer until you have to so it's like the old saying Like it's better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. So you're in the garden right there. You don't actually need to do anything. But the minute you see something happen, I'm sure you would have stepped in and done something without doubt.